Surrender Makes God the Leader in a Biblical Marriage

Do we remember to give God the Glory in our marriages – all the time?

We are blessed to have Tiffany Montgomery join us today addressing our need to submit to God in our marriages. I used to abhor that s—-t (yes that is 6 letters) word as it made my skin crawl…until I did a word study.

Sub = under

Mit = mission

So may I ask a question? Do you want to be under the same mission as God in YOUR marriage? Me too!

Yet before we dig in, here are two of the posts from last week that spoke to me. I pray they bless you too.

Join Maryleigh of BlueCottonMemory  Read it – every word!

Since this post is about marriage, you’ve gotta read Melissa’s Encouraging Your Spouse’s Relationship with God

God's way of love requires that we surrender ourselves to Him, and then to each other. True love really begins with being submitted to God.  Another way to think of it is Full surrender to God. And that is when and where marriages endure, as God indwells and guides us.

Surrender Makes God the Leader in a Biblical Marriage

Fear overwhelmed me as I sat in the pew that Sunday Morning.  The first clue that this sermon was about marriage was the gaudy heart motif on the teleprompter.  It seems every February we have to sit and get a stern talking to about Love, Respect and … that S word.  Why oh why do they have to harp on that one word?  Can you relate?

I mean I was trying my best to be a good wife and still our Marriage was a mess – at least behind closed doors.  Y’a know?

That day was unlike any other sermon I had heard – because God was stirring something in my heart.  More change – I groaned or um thanked God for the victories I knew would come.

Submission is a dirty little word in our culture.

I imagine you are already shutting me out… but can I beg a moment of your time.   Submission is biblical – but not the way we hear it preached so often from the pulpit.

Submit can also be said as – Obey, be subject,

Submission is actually God’s plan for life for Everyone – not exclusively for wives in marriage.  How does that get missed on Sunday morning?

Who does the Bible say we are to submit to?

  • God rather than man Acts 5:29
  • Jesus submitted to God John 5:19
  • Leaders Hebrews 13:17
  • Younger people submit to older people 1 Peter 5:5
  • The Man of the house submits to God 1 Corinthians 11:3
  • We are to submit to everyone Ephesians 5:21
  • Wives submit to husbands Ephesians 5:22
  • The Church submits to Christ Ephesians 5:24
  • Slaves submit to masters Ephesians 6:5 
  • Everyone Submits to the government Romans 13:1

These are countless places in the Bible that talk about submission.  We often forget all the references to submission that are not related to a wife!  It is a pity we miss this, because God has a plan for us to love each other.

God’s way of love requires that we surrender ourselves to Him, and then to each other.

True love really begins with being submitted to God.  Another way to think of it is Full surrender to God.  We need to come to the place where we say to God,

“All of this life is Yours.  Have it all.  I want to do it Your way from now on.  I will not hold any area of my life back from you.  Have Your way in me, God.  I surrender my all to You.”

This has been a process for me.  Every time I think I have surrendered everything to God, He shows me another area I have held back.  I have to wrestle with why I held onto the new area.  I usually have to confess some sin in that area.  Then I have to decide if I am going to try to be the god in my life or if I am going to give Lordship of my entire life to the Great I Am -Jehovah.  Theologians call that sanctification.  It is a process that lasts the entire life of a disciple.

Once I am submitted to God, I am okay with whatever He asks.  Some callings are clear in scripture.   He has called me to live humbly, to consider others better than myself, and to selflessly love all people – even my husband.

Yes, God has called me to submit to my husband; to put my husband before myself and to love him with a humble selfless love.

This kind of love is less about submission to my husband than it is about surrender to my God.

In fact, submission cannot be forced.  You cannot will yourself to submit any more than your husband can force it upon you.

True submission is a choice we make to be subject to our husband voluntarily because we are surrendered to God, and He said to do it this way.

Honestly I didn’t get to this understanding from 1 sermon.  It took over a year of digging into the Bible about becoming a godly wife – or a wife living from a Biblical World View.  These changes required Forgiveness, a New way to Love and so much more…

Are you longing for Hope and Joy in your Marriage?

God took me through a journey of re-learning how to live as a wife with a Biblical Worldview.  It is a joy for me to teach and mentor locally and I am thrilled to launch this new Online Course.

In this 9 week Course we will dig into the Bible and find out how to restore our Marriage – rebuilding it to Last a lifetime!

This Marriage Course will include:

  • 10 Self paced video lessons
    • Love
    • Forgiveness
    • Desires Vs. Preferences
    • My Mouth
    • Appreciation & Admiration
    • The Leader
    • Understanding Men
    • Respect
    • My Priorities
  • 9 weeks of personal study
    • 5 days each week that should take 10-15 minutes
  • 45 Days of Prayer prompts

I would love to giveaway a Seat in the Course.  Enter to Win below!

In Him,


A little about Tiffany:

She is a Jesus Girl with a passion to Encourage and Equip Wives and Moms through Biblical Discipleship.  Connect with her on Facebook at and Pinterest at

Link for the Giveaway is here:

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Oh by the way, March 29th was the 10th anniversary of losing Kyle. 20 years with him, 10 years without him – here on earth. Thank God I know where he is.

Miss you Kyle, hug Jesus, Love, Mom