Have you ever spoken to your spouse when you KNEW it would be in your best interest to wait…and you did it anyway?
Yea. Me too…just a couple of hours ago actually.
Separated by 5 states and 6 more days on the road, I K N E W better…yet plowed on to get that “to do” list item checked off MY list.
Here’s the deal. I was running on empty and my brain was not optimally fueled for a technical discussion. That’s never a good set-up for me. The plane had been delayed, the taxi driver insisted on having the windows down and no air conditioning turned on as he drove from the airport to the hotel (in steamy Florida), I was HOT, HUNGRY, TIRED, GROUCHY and needed to get some things DONE.
Been there? Sound like your two year old on a mid-afternoon shopping trip? Yea, that’s how I felt…
Oh, by the day, do you see all the capitalization? Let me ask you a question. Do you ever feel yelled at when reading ALL CAPITALS? Uh huh, that’s probably how I was talking. Can you simply see it coming? Feel it? Pretty, huh? Or is that pretty messy???
I called home to ask my husband if he was finished a process I had asked for some technical help with. He’s my Whiz Kid at the house. He can figure anything out on the computer, if he doesn’t already know how to do it. Now, that’s an ASSET, for sure. To be married to your web master is GREAT! Turn-around time is typically same day and cool stuff abounds…
Unless both of you haven’t eaten and one of you is pressing an issue…
Bet you are on the same page with me now.
So where did that conversation go?
And my mind went off on multiple tangents, making up all kinds of stories.
Done. Done with what? Done with who? Done with ME?
I’ve heard someone say, ” The devil is in the details.” Know what? I think I opened the door WIDE for that old devil to come in, as I was making up ALL KINDS of details…
35+ years into this marriage, I KNOW better than to travel that path. Yet I did it…again.
Truthfully, I had to stop long enough to eat something healthy, or I would have simply dug a deeper ditch. And I did not want to do that. I love Holt and treasure him, yet I was treating him rather trashy, truth be told.
I had to decide to make sure we were in a healthy place. I owe it to him, to our marriage and to myself to do that.
So I simply asked him a question versus building my own story in my own head without any input from him…
And I learned a lesson, a valuable lesson.
That lesson was this – stop long enough to hear his side of the story. He never meant he was done with me. He was done with that conversation, my frustration (oh, yea, it comes out when I do not know something that I think I should) and the project.
Simple. Yet my mind made it an issue…when it wasn’t. I had to resist the temptation to make it one.
Forgive me, Holt. I love you. I need you. And I need to know you love me and our commitment (covenant?!) is secure.
Stop. Decide. Ask. Listen.
Listen. (yep, said that twice)
Let go of the drama.
Who can hide in secret places so that I cannot see them?” declares the Lord. “Do not I fill heaven and earth?” declares the Lord. ~ Jeremiah 23:24 NIV
And then today’s Bible versus reminded me that God saw my mess too. Oh!
I think there’s another verse that would apply here too…
From my heart to yours…learn the lessons God teaches us. Resist the temptation (we know where THAT comes from!) to “make up a story in your own mind” like I did and believe it. Go straight to the source, your spouse, friend, coworker, child, parents, whomever!
Sure makes things “prettier” when we choose to resist temptation, clear up confusion, remove the ridiculous and remember to ratify our commitment to each other versus clouding issues with insanity.
And knowing Holt is good helps this girl of his settle into an amazing trip versus being unsettled far from home and far from him (and HIM). Praise God!
Bible verses are NIV and found at BibleGateway