Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 1 Corinthians 13:4, NIV
Ellie lived with her grandmother who regularly criticized her from the time she was small.
“Nana always seemed to have a list of reasons why things didn’t work out for me. In junior high, she told me I didn’t make the cheerleading team because I wasn’t pretty enough. In high school, she said no one asked me to prom because I was too fat.”
Ellie spent years accepting her grandmother’s painful words. Like many kids and teenagers, she simply believed that when an adult tells you something it must be the truth. She never thought to question it.
Then she shared with a college friend the painful things her grandmother would say during their daily phone calls.
“I still remember his face when I told him about it. He turned to look at me and there was such compassion in his eyes. He said that’s abuse. Love is kind, Ellie, and you deserve love.”
For Ellie, it was the first time anyone had ever stood up for her. She’d never had that validation and it made her think there could be people who loved her simply for being herself.
“I started working with a counselor not long after that. She helped me see myself as a precious child of God. It took years to work through all of the verbal abuse but I eventually forgave my grandmother. I didn’t want to carry those wounds with me for the rest of my life.”
Have you experienced the power of negative words spoken into and over you? If so, I am so very sorry. The Bible tells us to speak LIFE, yet too often we do not. I’m guilty of this yet I am aware and working to change this negative pattern in my life because the Bible clearly tells me the power, good or bad, of my words. I want LIFE, for myself, my husband, my daughter-in-love and each of you, my precious readers. You too?
Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit. Proverbs 18:21 New Life Version (NLV)
God, when the people in my life aren’t kind, help me to remember that You speak love over me. When I speak unkind words to others, remind me of Your immense love for me and the power of my words, so gracious words emerge, as they are from You. Let me feel the warm embrace of Your love every day, so I may embrace others with the same loving warmth that originates with You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
If we just lived our lives in light of 1 Cor. 13.4-7 what a different world this would be. May we all use our words in ways that reflect those powerful truths about love.
Such an important reminder. I am often convicted of this. And also that “love is not irritable”. I have to remind myself that love is not grumpy, but kind and patient. Every day! Thanks for the reminder!
I pinned this on my First things First board (https://www.pinterest.com/babychaser/first-things-first/).
I’m your neighbor at Oh My Heartsie this week.
Blessings,
Babychaser
Susan,
I was your #countingmyblessings linkup buddy last week and somehow I didn’t finish my comment. What a sad, yet profound post. Too many of us have allowed others to speak into our lives that should have no say. I’m learning when to wear ear muffs 🙂
Love you,
~Sherry
xoxo
Verbal abuse is horrible. I’m so glad that Ellie found a champion. I pray that I am a champion for my students, as well.
It’s so important what words we use, both to others and to ourselves. My prayer is that I use uplifting words. I know I’ve failed at this but I must keep trying.
Excellent encouragement today, Susan! Thanks for linking up at #PorchStories.
Beautiful post, Susan. I didn’t know it at the time, but I did experience verbal abuse at times in my childhood. I was told I asked too many questions and was made to feel like I wasn’t pretty enough or there was something wrong with me if the boys weren’t interested, etc. That, of course, was years ago. I know now the people who did the abuse were also unsure of themselves and I’m sure experience abuse along the way. Praise God for forgiveness and for making me His child. He loves me for who I am and that’s enough. May we all remember that love is kind. Blessings to you! I’m your neighbor at #TeaAndWord.
God, help our words to always be life giving!
Wonderful post, it is so sad to have no one speaking kind words to you.
A timely post. Our children are perceptive and they know our hearts if we are well-meaning. As we mature in Christ, even when we fail we have the opportunity to lovingly steer the ship.
Such an important topic. I think many of us are carrying around old word wounds and have no idea. laurensparks.net
Love is everything described in the verse from 1 Corinthians. IIf it doesn’t look like love, it probably isn’t. Learning to give and receive love is the best thing we can do in life. Allowing God’s love to shine through us is our calling.
Yes indeed Debbie.
I really began to notice this the most when our kids became teenagers and sarcasm entered the daily dialogue. Even when words are said in an effort to tease in a fun way or to try to be funny, those words can linger in a person’s heart and mind and feed lies they believe about themselves. We must not to assume a person isn’t hurt by these words just because they don’t act hurt. They can be smiling on the outside, but crying on the inside.
So very true. Heart wounds can last a lifetime. Oh Lord, helpnus speak life out of love.
Words hold so much power, for good or for evil. Ellie’s story surely shows that.
Yes,yes, yes! Hugs. Susan
As a mum, I’m learning that there is no such thing as inconsequential speech. It’s the throw-away words, the diatribe that leaks out in anger, the half-formed thought that our kids will remember.
Lord, help us to embody YOUR kindness with our words.
You are absolutely right, Michele. I was reading this thinking the same thing!
Amen and amen Michele. Our words hit home powerfully. Let’s pray they honor God and hit home, the heart we are speaking to, with love ❤️