Letting Go of What Was Mine

We are honored to have Kelly Balarie, a fun-loving, active and spunky mom of two rambunctious toddlers, who spends her days pushing swings, changing diapers and pursuing the Lord with all her heart share with us on the Dance With Jesus Birthday Beach Bash today. Called a “Cheerleader of Faith”, Kelly’s greatest desire is to help women live passionately, purposefully and unencumbered for the Lord.

Kelly Balarie

She loves to speak, write and cheer others on as they go on this adventurous, exciting and life-changing journey.

You find Kelly blogging at Purposeful Faith and tweeting at @KellyBalarie.

Letting Go of What Was Mine

I just read a book. It’s not even on a topic I thought I was struggling with, but good words always tend to find a good home in one ready to receive them.

These words did more than just that; they took my heavy baggage, bent them up and dropped them at my feet in a time-to-let go kind of way (dang, Lord, I wasn’t intending this!).

You see, when baggage breaks, it’s time to dump ’em, toss ’em and be done with ’em. And, now, I can see how messed up my baggage really is; it’s just filled with stolen items, things I only pretend to fully own. Things I tried to make myself believe would always be mine – and that would always fill my needs.

But, I never owned them to begin with.

He lends us what we love, so we can see his love – for us.

But, what is lent is always called back home sometime, in God’s time.

In my heart, God is calling back the idea that I own my kids, my husband and my dreams – because I don’t. They always have and always will belong to him.

But letting go, feels like letting a dog run without a leash. It’s scary. Risky. Uncertain.

Gods wonder

To let go of what I clench, to release my imprints and to undo my harness – it’s not work for the faint of heart. For so long, I have relied on these crutches as my own personal hopes of glory, hidden, but golden tickets to personal satisfaction and fulfillment.

But, what happens, one day, when God decides, that I can no longer clutch and crutch – right around his great promises? What happens then?

Because, you see, something like this could happen: “my son purchased drugs which, combined with a beer later that evening, caused respiratory distress, resulting in death.” (Dance With Jesus, by Susan B. Mead)

What would I do then? When the kid that I supposedly owned, ruled and managed ended up – gone? Would I go down with him? Would my crutches be so swiped out from under me that my face would break in a million little pieces?

I think it might. I don’t know what I would do.

The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised.” Job 1:21

I suppose I am learning, it is in the taking away, that we find the praise. At least that’s what happened with Susan, when she lost her son.




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