Coming clean. Oh my, I learned something new – and must share Renee Kinlaw’s words with you. FYI – You may want to take note – it has something to do with clean, a scrub brush…and God!
Does that first sentence strike a chord with you? My mind is literally racing with thoughts of me too, how did you know, I want more, so much more, etc. Now, back to Renee’s words…
Somewhere in the depths of all my insecurities was a woman who had a legacy to leave behind. Making a difference in the lives of others was my heart’s desire. Yet, day after day, I am still this same young vulnerable little girl trapped in a woman’s body. A girl who wants to be free. Free to enjoy the abundant life she had heard about Sunday after Sunday. Free to be a woman who knows who she was and what her purpose for being born on this gigantic rock called earth was for.
As days turned into years, the feeling of being inadequate only grew with my outward shell. How could I reach other women for Christ if I couldn’t even reach myself? There had to be a reason for all this self-doubt. There had to be an escape from this dungeon of unworthiness.
I searched for the answer in self-help books. I attended – and even taught! – Bible study after Bible study. Running from one Women’s Retreat and Conference to the next hoping to finally find the key that unlocked my chains, only to find myself in this same prison.
(Sounds so familiar…)
I would never have imagined the answer would come to me while spring cleaning my kitchen. Clean, yes indeed, I had to clean that kitchen! There I was perched on the countertop reaching for the last Pyrex dish tucked back in the far corner of my upper cabinet when the message came—
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me and know my anxious thoughts;
And see if there be any hurtful way in me,
And lead me in the everlasting way.
Psalm 139:23-24, NASB
Years of tossing things to the side hoping to deal with them later hindered my prayer life. My spiritual closets were packed to overflowing with past disappoints I did not know how to deal with. There was trash strewn from one end to the other leaving little room for the Holy Spirit to move. The cobwebs of lies I bought into had taunted and teased me relentlessly since childhood. It was time to tear them down and clean them out.
The day to sort through the tangled mess that had left me with no self-esteem had finally come. With God as my guide, I began the dreadful process. Some days I spent in agony and tears, some day laughing and rejoicing. The task wasn’t easy nor is it complete, yet I can smell the fresh scent of revival in the air.
Join me on this journey to coming clean in my book, God Has A Scrub Brush. We’ll walk hand in hand through the corridors of our souls together, you, me and the Heavenly Father. Each day will bring us closer to true freedom in Christ.
God Has a Scrub Brush is a Finalist for the Christian Women Reader’s Club Literary Lighthouse Award and has been a top 100 Amazon Best Seller in Spiritual Devotions. Ebooks and paperbacks can be purchased through Amazon.
Renee Kinlaw is a Pastor’s wife of 20 years. She and her husband, whom she calls her soulmate, have one daughter named Jayden. Renee is enrolled at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary. She has a great passion for the Bible study and teaching woman of all ages the truths of God’s Word.
Renee has never known days without religion, but sadly, she has known days without Jesus. At the age of 21, Renee realized she needed more than the church. She needed more than Mom and Dad’s salvation. She needed a relationship with Jesus. Since that time Renee had become a firm believer that having a personal relationship with Christ is all that really matters in life.
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