One thing I know is that people grieve differently.
When we lost Kyle, I looked at Holt and said, “I can’t lose you too.” Before that, I’d probably taken him way too much for granted, but at that moment realization hit. Life is fragile. People matter and he mattered to me. In those broken and absolutely dark moments, I wasn’t sure I knew how to take care of myself, much less someone else, whether it was Holt or my son Matthew, but I knew we had to go through it together.
[Tweet “I knew we had to respect the way each one of us grieved.”]I had to read everything. I had to see somebody else who was living after loss. I was the typical “I want to talk more about it” and there were times that I just needed to hear Kyle’s name. Holt, not so much. Holt didn’t talk about it for years. Each one of us was unique and different, because no two people ever grieve exactly alike.
[Tweet “We have to choose to respect how other people walk through their grief.”]Don’t tell me how you know exactly how I feel, because I don’t know exactly how you feel. None of us do. The only time I got mad was when a woman told me, “I know exactly how you feel,” yet she doesn’t even have children. She said, “My dogs, I would be a blithering idiot if I lost a dog,” and I got mad. That’s the one time I got mad.
Learn more about why I wrote Dance With Jesus in this video. To preorder the book go to: http://bit.ly/SBMAmazon.
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Love how sensitive and empathetic this post is. At the end of the day, respect will make us get along. 🙂
Glad to have found your blog!
Welcome Lux. And thank you–a heartfelt thank you! Respect is crucial isn’t it?!
Susan, bless you for sharing your story with the world and seeking honestly to help others in their grief. I adored your video above…you seem like such a gentle spirit, and someone I would love to sit with, drink a cup of coffee, and just listen to your stories and your heart. I pray your book blesses many and glorifies God. I know that it will!
Oh Stephanie, we shall sit and have time to share stories at some point! Thank you.
Susan watching and listening to you discuss grief was so touching. You have such a warm spirit and present a difficult topic beautifully. Thanks for your transparency. I’m so glad God placed you in my path. Blessings friend.
The beauty, truth and emotion in your words reached right into my heart. I am blessed by the reminder that we do all grieve differently as I continue to learn my new normal a year later after my mom passed. I love this beautiful link up and must say thank you for giving me a shout out on Twitter so I would know that you were hosting this on Fridays.
I look forward to reading more from you and the other writers who stepped out here to link up. Weekend Blessings!
I loved your video. Influenced and touched by your strength. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you Kimberly, your words pointed out to me I HAVE strength! Thank you for that. Join us each week at the dance!
So sorry for your lose. I have not lost a child. I can’t imagine the grief. Thank you for the linkup as well. I will join for the first time this week.
Thank you Mary. Honestly, I hope you never know. Come back and join the dance each week! Encouraging others…Hugs! Susan
Wow!! What an amazing day this has been. I am not one to mince words or hold back. My readiness to speak of the tragedies I’ve walked through has in many situations made those close to me feel uncomfortable. God was healing me of the shame and guilt I felt over my anorexia and attempted suicide. I was moving forward and I wanted to celebrate. Understanding my loved ones anger and feelings of failure has taken time. But God is EVER faithful and consistent in all his ways! He has authored every step for each of us and moves us forward at his perfect pace. Such a beautiful Lord! With love….
Oh Jessica, thank you. Thank YOU. FIGHT girl. You are worth it. Every bit of it. Hugs! Susan
I have learned to respect my husband’s need to talk less about struggle and grief. I think you’re making an important point here. I’ve noticed that often when I’ve worked through an issue because I’ve already talked it out, that’s when he all of a sudden wants to talk about it (a bit) and work through.
Amazing how God works His timing into our equation…! He prepares us for that next step, one by one. Beautiful. Thanks for joining the dance from TURKEY! (Thats just so cool to me…our words are somewhere else…)
Wow, moving post! I admire and applaud your transparency as you share on such a sensitive topic, Susan. You are right, no two people grieve the same and it’s important not to take others for granted. Beautiful video; Wise words. Thank you!
Thank you Tina. All I know is I’m supposed to “sing my love song” – (And rest assured you do NOT wanna hear me literally singing–you would cringe as I croaked…) So I’m telling’ it, a little at a time.
Susan, what a beautiful video – thank you for sharing your grief and how God worked through it and especially reminding us that grief is very different for each person.
Thank you, Kim, for joining. Yep, each one of us processes things so very differently. We certainly did/do…
Wow Susan, this was a very powerful post, my Love! Thank you for sharing this! You are so very right. We don’t all handle grief in the same way. This truly touched my heart so far beyond the words it would take to explain. Love and blessings to you always, my friend! 🙂
Tai, Your words…honey to my heart, music to my ears and hugs from heaven. Thank you. May you be blessed.